How to Cope with Loss
by theultimatenerd04
Summary: "The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths." Snippets of Harry and Ron's life after the war where they try to move on and recover from all the loss they have suffered.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
On September 1st, the year after Voldemort was defeated, two men walked up to the barrier dividing the Wizarding Platform from the rest of Muggle Kings Cross. Any passerby could tell they had a bond closer than that of normal friends.

Their haunted eyes held the same jaded look that made them seem like they were far older than they actually were. They both wore ragged muggle clothing that made a few people turn up their noses but carried themselves like warriors. Large eye-bags hung beneath both green and blue orbs but their eyes flickered about attentively. The two were quite the contradiction and that is what made people stare.

These two men were known to the muggles that knew them as Ron Weasley and Harry Potter but to their fellow witches and wizards, they were unwillingly given the title of Saviours of the Wizarding World, along with one Hermione Granger.

It was strange for them to be going back for another year at Hogwarts when they both should have just graduated. The war impacted a lot of things, school being one of them so Hogwarts had made an Eighth Year for all those 7th years whose education had been disrupted. Many of them had wanted to return, Harry and Ron being two of that number.

And so it was that the Boy Who Lived and his best mate were off to Hogwarts to join their surviving friends in the newly introduced 8th year classes.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Harry and Ron were silent as they approached the platform, both deep in thought. Before the war, it was unusual to see the two not talking or joking around but the war had affected both of them in many ways. These days, it was strange to find either of them laughing around like they used to.

The two of them had tried to regain some semblance of a normal lifestyle after the war had ended but it was just too soon. The wounds were too fresh and the only thing either of them wanted was to have some proper time to mourn the loss of their friends who had given their lives for the sake of their world.

Harry had never before had the chance, with all the things constantly happening but he knew that if he had, he might have been able to recover a lot faster. With Sirius, Harry had moped for months. Sirius was family but just like that he had been taken away. Just after Sirius died, Harry had been carted back to his Aunt's who made him work non-stop, not giving him anytime to mourn.

Ron felt the same. When Fred died, he had been so busy making sure the rest of the family was going to be alright that he forgot to look after himself. Nobody did it for him and he found himself sinking into a deep depression as time went past.

It was not a nice feeling and neither of them wanted to go through it again.

They took one step towards the barrier as if to make sure that the moment wasn't a dream and then continued towards it. Or rather, Ron did. Harry had stopped and was scanning the area, a thoughtful look settling on his face.

"What is it mate?" Ron asked quietly, a hand creeping to his wand holster.

Harry slowly shook his head in bewilderment, a frown creasing his face as he answered. "I...I don't know how to explain it. It just feels like there is something's missing."

As soon as the words left his lips, the answer came to him and his emotions rapidly closed down. A glance at Ron told him that he had realised the answer as well. They both stared at each other for a minute, both of them trying to muster up the courage to speak.

Harry took the chance to do a bit of scouting. The war had engrained a deep sense of paranoia into everyone that fought and it wasn't easy to get rid of.

He couldn't see any obvious signs of wizards or witches, but of course, that didn't mean anything. They could be here under a spell or charm or have even taken the polyjuice potion. Maybe they even bothered to do their research and were hiding in plain sight as one of the Muggles.

Harry sighed as he realised how far his paranoia had gotten, breaking the silence. Ron tiredly dragged a hand across his face.

"I don't know what to do..." He whispered brokenly, a heavy feeling settling in his chest.

Abandoning his search, Harry lay his hand on Ron's shoulder and looked at his friend. He really looked at him for the first time in days if not weeks. He seemed to be in a permanent slouch with his shoulders slumped inwards but still tense. Always tense, ready to fight at a moments notice.

The war had taken a lot out of all of them but between the two, Ron probably had had to bear the most stress. He had a family to worry about. The Weasley's were Harry's second family and he only needed to think about Sirius to know how much it would have effected Ron if one of them was hurt while the trio were hunting down the Horcruxes.

Although the war was long over, the remains of the years of fighting had remained with all of those who defended the light or even fought with Voldemort, some more than others. Harry knew that of course, he just didn't realise how much it had effected Ron.

"She would have wanted us to remain strong." Harry finally spoke. "She would have wanted us to live for her." He choked back a sob but let a tear slide down his cheek as Ron gave a small, almost unnoticeable nod in reply.

The two wizards stayed like that until it was almost time for the train to leave, just taking comfort from each other's presence. They quickly passed through the barrier and were immediately subjected to hundreds of stares from witches and wizards who wanted to get a glimpse of the famed Saviours.

Both of them hurried to find an empty compartment and settled down with a sigh of relief. Ron glanced at Harry who was levitating his trunk into storage.

"Ready?" He asked as Harry sat down opposite him.

"Not at all."

They shared a small grin and the compartment lapsed into silence once more.


	2. Chapter 2

It was eleven o'clock at night and the Gryffindor Eighth year dormitory was eerily silent apart from the sound of Seamus Finnegan's loud snores. One maroon bed was noticeably silent but from time to time, the curtains would move peculiarly, like someone was kicking them.

One kick, two kicks, then it was still once more.

Not even five minutes later, there was movement from the same bed. This time, what looked to be a foot underneath the curtain, lashed out and knocked a cup off the neighbouring bedside table.

The cup made a loud clattering noise as it hit the ground and Harry jolted up in bed at the sound. Slowly sitting up, he scanned the room, looking for the cause of the disturbance. As his eyes moved across the room, they passed over Ron's bed but then quickly moved back, having seen a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye.

Harry kept his eye's trained to Ron's bed, lingering there just in case the movement occurred again. It did. As soon as Harry saw the kicking, he leapt out of bed and tore open Ron's curtains. His heart almost stopped at the sight that awaited his eyes.

His friend was desperately thrashing beneath the sheets, his body soaked in sweat. His mouth opened in a silent scream as his face twisted in agony. Harry reached over and slowly shook Ron's shoulder, knowing that his war-honed instincts would cause his friend to wake even from the gentlest touch. Surely enough, as soon as Harry's hand ghosted over Ron's shoulder, his eyes shot open, darting around the room with a panicked glint.

"Ron. It's just me."

The red-head looked up and caught sight of calm, emerald green eyes and immediately relaxed. The two were well versed in each other's nightmares and so knew exactly how to calm the other down.

Harry's eyes slid over to the door in a silent question. Nodding his assent, Ron stood up shakily, not yet completely recovered from his horrific nightmare. They both quietly make their way down to the common room, trying not to wake their sleeping roommates. As soon they entered the room, Ron collapsed onto one of the comfy armchairs located in front of the flickering fire and Harry looked at him sympathetically.

Someone once said that a human's greatest attribute was to be able to feel emotions. Right now, Harry agreed wholeheartedly. He sat down in the armchair next to Ron, giving him space to recover from the nightmare.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Harry asked softly, his voice hoarse as he considered what could have caused the nightmare.

He was sure he already knew.

Ron slowly shook his head and held back a sob, his body shaking. Harry sighed deeply and buried his head in his hands.

"I can't help both of us Ron. I...I just can't. I'm barely keeping myself afloat. I'm really, really sorry." His voice broke. "i just can't help both of us."

Ron looked up from where he had been staring at his knees and looked at Harry.

His friend was supporting his head in one hand, his eyes closed. The brunette would have looked almost peaceful if not for the stress lines etched into his flesh and the shadow-like bags underneath his eyes. The bags were proof of the insomnia that had been plaguing him as he tried to avoid his own nightmares. It wasn't a healthy way to proceed especially since Ron suspected that the nightmares weren't going to go away any time soon. He just wasn't sure if he could suggest a better way.

Harry's head jolted upwards as Ron's hand settled on his thigh. He looked into his friend's, no his brother's eyes and was drawn into the whirlwind of emotions that surfaced. Grief, sorrow and determination were prominent in his dull blue eyes.

Harry could empathise. Every since they came back to school, his emotions had been all over the place. He kind of wished that there was something like a muggle school councillor at Hogwarts but he knew that would never happen. The wizarding world was too set in their old ways to acknowledge the existence of mental illness even though it was right at their doorstep.

"I-" Both of them spoke at the same time.

Harry nodded at Ron, indicating for him to go first.

"I think..." Ron hesitated, trying to gauge Harry's reaction to his suggestion. "I think... I think that we remind each other too much of... her."

Harry froze.

Ron felt a cold thread of fear creep down his spine and trained his eyes on Harry, watching him for anything that might give a glimpse into his thought process.

"We both haven't been coping very well, I'm sure you've noticed. I just think that it might get better if we go our seperate ways just for a while."

Harry nodded slowly and Ron relaxed minutely.

Harry spoke quietly but sounded assured of his decision. "I agree. I was going to suggest something similar before anyway."

"Still friends though?"

"Of course."

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Over the course of the next few days, most of the returning 8th years had noticed something different between Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter especially their close friends. They still acted friendly towards each other so it wasn't as though they had had a fight, they just weren't seen interacting with each other as much as before, even after the war.

Harry and Ron still talked and still seemed like they were good friends so the others put it out of their minds, reasoning that they were just taking some time off to recover from the war. And so life continued as normally as possible, with everybody working to pick up the pieces left from the war.

But amidst all the chaos, nobody noticed that slowly, two lives were shattering.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry dropped onto a bench at the end of the Gryffindor table and slowly served himself some eggs. He tiredly rubbed a hand over his face and watched as Ron entered the Great Hall, laughing with his friends.

Harry watched, self-consciously glancing around at the empty benches surrounding him and winced. From where he was sitting, Harry had a perfect view of where Ron, Dean, Seamus, Lavender and Parvati were sitting.

Upon glimpsing Harry sitting by himself, Ron spoke quickly to his friends, stood up and headed over to where Harry was sitting.

"You alright, mate?" He asked cheerfully.

Harry, not wanting to spoil Ron's good mood, replied with a negative and, casting him a worried look, Ron moved back to his other friends. Harry watched him go wistfully.

How had Ron recovered so fast? Not even a week before, Harry had been comforting Ron after a traumatic nightmare and now he was laughing and joking around as if nothing had happened.

Harry was not ashamed to admit that he was jealous.

After a few more minutes of observing Ron and the other Gryffindor Eighth Years, Harry couldn't take it anymore. Standing up hurriedly, Harry almost tripped over the bench as he rushed out of the hall.

He wondered the hallways aimlessly, a tear trickling down his cheek. His mind was filled with images of her and he grabbed his head manically, trying to make the memories go away. He just wanted to forget and move on! Was it truly that hard?

Stumbling down a corridor, Harry saw, through glazed eyes, three people walking towards him. He watched them come closer absently until he finally realised that if they saw him like this, everybody would know about it before the end of the day. That was the speed of the Hogwarts Rumour Mill.

Quickly, he ducked into the first door that he approached and shut the door. He leaned on it, breathing in a sigh of relief before observing the room. His eyes widened and he cursed himself. In the war, he would never have walked into a room without knowing what it was.

But now he had and look where that lead him.

He was in the room where it all started, the room where they first became friends. The bathroom from first year where she had almost been killed by a troll.

His heart burned and his body tremored as all the suppressed memories assaulted him. It felt like his heart was on fire, burning from all the emotions he had previously ignored.e was dying. It felt like he was dying.

Desperately, he reared up his head and looked around the room, trying to grasp a grip on reality. The sinks, the toilets, there was even still a dent in on of the toilet doors from when the troll had fell.

He curled up in a ball, whimpering pathetically.

MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!

He just wanted it to be over, for the memories to stop.

Blindly, he stumbled out of the toilet into a group of people that were huddled outside. Hurriedly, he apologised and, with his head down, he quickly ran past them, stumbling every few steps.

"Harry!" A voice called from behind him. He ignored it.

There were visions of her all over now. They were following him, torturing him with their presence. Timeless reminders of what he had lost. He needed to find Ron. He needed to find him right now!

"Harry!"

Suddenly someone barrelled into him from behind and threw him off balance. He hit the ground and curled up into a fetal position, trying to make the images and voices go away.

His heart burned and his body tremored as all the suppressed memories assaulted him. It felt like his heart was on fire, burning from all the emotions he had previously ignored.e was dying. It felt like he was dying.

Desperately, he reared up his head and looked around the room, trying to grasp a grip on reality. The sinks, the toilets, there was even still a dent in on of the toilet doors from when the troll had fell.

He curled up in a ball, whimpering pathetically.

MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!

He just wanted it to be over, for the memories to stop.

Blindly, he stumbled out of the toilet into a group of people that were huddled outside. Hurriedly, he apologized and, with his head down, he quickly ran past them, stumbling every few steps.

"Harry!" A voice called from behind him. He ignored it.

There were visions of her all over now. They were following him, torturing him with their presence. Timeless reminders of what he had lost. He needed to find Ron. He needed to find him right now!

"Harry!"

Suddenly someone barrelled into him from behind and threw him off balance. He hit the ground and curled up into a fetal position, trying to make the images and voices go away.

"No! Go away!" He cried, covering his head in an attempt to protect himself.

"Harry! HARRY! You need to focus!" He heard someone calling his name but it was as if it was through a long pipe. "Harry! Whatever it it, it's not real, you know that right? It's not real!"

Harry tried to focus solely on the person's words in order to find some clarity. It worked.

Slowly, everything else faded away. All the sounds, smells, even the visions that had been haunting him, they all disappeared in the wake of the voice. Blearily, he opened his eyes to find the distressed face of Ron staring at him.

"...Ron?" Harry croaked.

Ron nodded, a concerned look on his face. His eyes wandered back to where Harry had run from and then widened. The red-head looked back at Harry and opened his mouth, before closing it again. Harry nodded drearily, confirming Ron's suspicions.

He winced in sympathy but then jerked his head towards the direction of the common room, silently asking if Harry wanted to be alone after his episode but Harry shook his head. Being alone would probably only make the visions worse. He shuddered just thinking about it.

Ron nodded understandingly and stood up. Only just noticing that they had built u a crowd, Harry ducked his head self-consciously and he stood up and followed Ron in the direction of their first class. It wasn't wasn't quite time to go just yet but walking there slowly would be better than doing nothing.

As he turned to follow Ron, he caught a glimpse of platinum, blond hair in his crowd of on-lookers and turned around to get a better look. Sure enough, Draco Malfoy was standing amidst the crowd of students, watching Harry with a peculiar expression on his face. It was almost... empathy. Harry shook the thought out of his head, resolving to come back to it later and quickly ran after Ron.


	4. Chapter 4

Ron bounced into the Great Hall, smiling and waving to his friends as he approached them. His heart rate was up, his whole body was tense, he was just praying that no one saw through his facade.

He plopped down on the bench adjacent to Lavender and next to Seamus. Shooting a quick glance down the Gryffindor Table to check where Harry was, he was quickly engaged in conversation with the others. He laughed at all the right moments, responded with the right comments, but his mind was far away from present.

While talking to friends, you are meant to feel happy right? All he felt was empty and the red-head was pretty sure that wasn't normal. It was as if all of his emotions had been drained out of his body and he couldn't get them back.

It was terrifying and he didn't know what to do. Should he tell someone? Give it some tine and hope it goes away? Ron wasn't even sure if that would work. Maybe he could do what Harry was doing and shut himself off from everyone...But that would make all of his friends worry and that was what he was trying to avoid.

All he had was the mask. If it was strong enough, maybe the feelings would start to come back? He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure about anything these days.

"Ron!" His head jerked towards Parvati as she said his name. "You zoned out again."

She tried to make her voice neutral but Ron could hear the undertone and understand that she was offended. They were probably all offended. After all, this wasn't the first time he had been caught drifting off in the middle of a conversation. And to make things worse, it wasn't like he was doing it by accident!

He did it on purpose so he guessed that he deserved the guilt from offending them.

No! If his aim was to avoid offending his friends, then he couldn't afford to be neutral. If he could only feel emotions for one thing, this had to be it. His friends were the only thing he had left, he couldn't lose them now.

"Ron," It was Lavender this time, with the others looking at him worriedly, "Are you alright? Maybe you should go to the hospital wing."

Ron considered it for a minute, debating the pros and cons, but then nodded. Madam Pomfrey might be able to help, it would be worth a shot. The others exchanged glances and then Dean and Seamus stood up to come with him.

They walked out of the Great Hall, Ron glancing at Harry on the way out. The brunette boy had his head down, eating his salad, not making eye contact with anyone. Ron felt a pony of longing in his chest. Their friendship hadn't been the same since they'd gone their seperate ways. Ron still felt it was for the best, but he missed Harry, he really did.

The three boys walked down the corridors to the Hospital Wing. They were just approaching it when they passed by a bathroom and Ron excused himself quickly to go. While he was in there, doubts and insecurities ran through his mind.

Did he really want to go? She might think he was insane. She might send him to St. Mungo's!

No, she couldn't do that. Could she? Surely she would have to have some sort of permission. He wasn't a minor anymore so surely she must need his permission to take him there… Now that he thought about it, he honestly wasn't sure anymore. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to go!

But how was he going to get out of it?

He could try to get past Dean and Seamus without them noticing but even if he did, he couldn't avoid them forever. Once they did find him, they'd confront him and they'd know that since he tried to avoid the hospital wing, surely he must be sick. Then they'd frog-march him there and not let him out of their sight.

But the cherry on the top would be that he'd lose all of their trust. And he wasn't sure if he would be able to get it back. Trust wasn't the sort of thing that was easily repaired, especially if they'd been hard times, which they certainly had.

Ron stayed in the bathroom pondering his issue for another five minutes, until he was sure he couldn't stay in any longer otherwise it would be suspicious. Pushing open the door, he walked back over to where the others were waiting, hoping that his first plan would work so he didn't have to resort to Plan B.

"Guys, I really don't think I need to go to the Hospital Wing, I feel a lot better now. I think I just needed a little bit of exercise and fresh air."

Dean and Seamus exchanged a sceptical look as Seamus replied, "Sorry mate, but Lavender would kill us if we didn't make sure you went."

Ron cursed under his breath. He would have to enact Plan B. Slowly, making sure the others wouldn't see, he brought out his wand from it's holster as they continued the walk to the Hospital Wing. Allowing himself to fall a little behind under the guise of tying up his shoes and aimed his wand at their unprotected backs.

"Obliviate!" He murmured underneath his breath, watching the spell fly towards two of his best friends.

He hoped with all his heart that they never found out that he had done this to them. If they did, they would definitely never forgive him. Either way, he will never forgive himself. But it was better than the alternative…

He couldn't let them see through his facade. At this point, it wasn't about them anymore. If they saw through it, he would crumble. His mask was the only thing he had left, the only light in the eons of darkness that surrounded him. How depressing was that?

He closed his eyes just as the spell hit, not bearing to watch the effects. He winced as he felt the spell asking him what he wanted them to forget and he almost couldn't bring himself to answer. In the end, he did, erasing all memories of his journey to the bathroom and replacing them with a perfectly normal walk to the Hospital Wing in which they discussed normal things. He added matching memories of his hospital assessment that ended with Madame Pomfrey prescribing him with a sleeping draught and then the three of them going back to the Great Hall.

Now the only thing left to do was to make up some time so that the two girls would believe the fake memories. He broke the hold of his previous spell and immediately hit them with a light sleeping spell. He would lift it when it was time to head back.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry climbed the stairs to the Astronomy Tower, deep in thought. Opening the door, he sat right on the edge with his hands holding him secure but his feet dangling into oblivion. Raising his head, he felt the wind whipping at his hair and sighed in bliss.

For some reason, being up high, away from all the other inhabitants of the castle was strangely calming to Harry. It was one of the only times he could truly relax and let his guard down. It was refreshing. That was the one way to describe what he was feeling. Refreshing and freeing.

He heard the creak as the door to the tower opened and someone slipped through. Harry caught a glimpse of platinum blonde hair and his first thought was Malfoy and he tensed before realising it was just Luna. He relaxed again.

"Go away Luna." He said tiredly.

Luna ignored him and sat down next to him.

"Are you alright Harry?"

Harry sighed, frustrated, "Do I look alright Luna?"

Luna peered at him closely over her rainbow spectacles and replied softly, "No, I'd say you don't."

The two of them sit in silence for a while, with Harry sneaking glances at her every now and then to see if she was going to leave. Eventually he gave up and is drawn into his thoughts.

His mind drifted to all the worried looks his teachers and all the other students had been giving him lately and he sighed deeply. How was he ever supposed to move on when there were physical reminders all through the castle. He hadn't even wanted to come back until Ron had reminded him that she had been planning to come. They had agreed to return in her honour.

Harry hoped she was proud of them.

He sighed again, louder this time and Luna heard. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and he leaned into her touch. It had been a long time since someone was just there for him. All the other students and teachers tried to fix his issues. They didn't understand that he just wanted them to listen.

"Why are you here Luna?" He asks softly. He didn't want to offend her with his question but he had to know. Why had she stayed when everybody else (apart from Ron) would have left when he told them to.

"I knew you'd be here." She answered serenely.

Harry just stared at her in confusion. "How?"

"I just did."

She stared out in the distance, seemingly entranced in the web of stars that were just beginning to show.

Harry followed her line of sight. "What are you looking at?"

"The sky of course." She replied dreamily, eyes still glued to the heavens.

Silence enveloped the two as Harry joined Luna in staring at the sky. He glanced at Luna every now and then, wondering what could be so special about the sky that would encourage to stare at it for lengths at a time.

"You're wondering what is so special about the sky, are you not?" She asked bemusedly.

Harry looked at her strangely. It was almost as if she could tell what he was thinking. he shoved the thought out of his mind. It was a ridiculous theory, spawned from too many nights on top of the Astronomy Tower.

"I enjoy looking at the sky because it can applied so well to real life." Luna's voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

Harry tilted his head to one side, not understanding how.

"The stars are always there, correct?"

Harry nodded.

"But when it's day and the sky is blue, you cannot see them. So how do you know that they are there?"

"Um... Scientific evidence? I'm not sure. I guess it's just something I've always taken for granted without really thinking why."

Luna nodded in approval. "Exactly. And the same can be applied to friends. You may not be able to see them, but you know that they will always be there for you."

Harry gaped at her and she chuckled.

"That... That... Thank you Luna. I needed that."

She smiled at him and Harry realised that her normal dreamy smile wasn't her real one. This smile lit up her entire face and he wondered why she didn't smile like that more often. It made her look stunning.

"I do what I can." Luna answered as she stood up gracefully and descended back down to the main part of the school.

Harry gazed bewilderingly after her, wondering how someone who seems so loony can be so wise at the same time.


	6. Chapter 6

Ron lay in bed with the curtains draw, not caring that no one else in his dorm room apart from Harry had slept with the curtains closed since first year. Everyone knew why Harry had them shut, his nightmares were well known these days but everyone else was called a sissy if they slept with them shut. Ron was past the point of caring about other people's opinions, he just wanted to sleep!

His mind already on that train of thought, he lingers on the thought of Harry. His friend hasn't doing to well since the two had gone their separate ways but Ron was afraid to approach him for fear of rejection. He had been the one to suggest the idea to split up after all.

Harry had just been so closed up lately, pushing everybody that tried to help him away. The only Harry allowed close to him was Luna Lovegood and for that, Ron was jealous. Jealousy had always been Ron's fatal flaw but since the war, he had tried to reign it in. But now, all his hard work was coming undone as he watched Harry laugh with Lovegood.

At least Lovegood was helping Harry. The brunette had never been the best sleeper but since returning to Hogwarts, the bags underneath his eyes had been getting steadily deeper and darker. He swore they looked like two black holes, hanging beneath his best friend's eyes.

Ron sighed as he considered how Harry was coping. He just seemed to be blocking everybody out and refusing help, but Ron knew that there must be more to it than that. Harry had been the same way after Sirius' death so Ron believed that this must just be the brunette's way of grieving.

At least he was grieving.

Ron was too afraid that if he let down his barriers and let himself grieve, he would find himself moving on. He didn't want to forget her. He couldn't forget her. She was his first love. She meant everything to him and he wouldn't, couldn't let her memory slip away from him.

So instead of grieving, he bottled up his emotions and raised a shell around him to prevent people from seeing the real him while putting up a happy facade. Some people wondered how he had recovered so fast. He hadn't recovered at all. Time like this were his only solace.

In bed at night was one of the only times he could be himself. He could drop all his shields and just focus on himself instead of worrying about what other people think. Slowly, he relaxed, one muscle at a time, starting from the very tips of his toes and going all the way to the top of his neck.

He let his eyes drift shut and slowly let his mind drift.

There were a few things he had never told anyone, not even Harry and his ability to practice Occlumency was one of them. His mother was a pure-blood, a Prewett to be precise so it was only natural that she would teach her children how to defend themselves from Legilimens.

What he called his Occlumency Zone was one of the only places he could think clearly, without anyone interfering with his thoughts. It was a strange practice, and Ron could understand why Harry couldn't get it but with him, it just clicked. It was the only magical art he was naturally good at and because of that, he practiced every night.

As he sank deeper into the Zone, he began to see the beginnings of his mind defences. There were many different varieties of defences and it all depended on what sort of person you were.

Ron had built a sort of maze around the centre of his mind, roughly based of the Third Task of the Triwizard Tournament. He had originally only built it for defensive purposes but since then, had kept coming back. He found that it gave him a sort of peace, just being in his own mind. There was the downside of that when he got fully immersed, he couldn't feel anything in the outside world which meant that it could be rather dangerous.

He wandered through the maze, checking that all his defences were secure and nothing was out of place. The war had left him paranoid but that paranoia had kept him alive plenty of times, even after the war had ended.

Once he had checked that everything was where it was meant to be, Ron made his way to the middle of the maze, where the heart of his mind was. This was the bit he was trying to protect and the mist vulnerable section of the mind. It held all of the memories which was why it was the part targeted by the Legilimens.

Just like different people had different defences, each person's heart was uniquely different but unlike with the defences, the heart was made to look like something that reflected your inner soul. Ron's was a cloudy, glass orb, not unlike the ones they used to use in Divination back when they were at school.

He lay his hand on top of the orb and started sifting through his thoughts. he would do this whenever he felt overwhelmed by things happening or by life in general. It was kind of like Dumbledore's old pensieve but this way, Ron didn't have to be paranoid about someone stealing his thoughts.

Distantly, he felt someone shake his shoulder and he made sure to groan in his physical body not just his mental one. Ron was pretty sure that it was the weekend so the other's should just leave him alone if he makes it clear that he doesn't want to get up.

As soon as the thought ran through his head, he felt another, harder shake of his shoulder and this time groaned in his mental body. It looked like he would be getting up after all. It was a shame, he had just started to feel a little sleepy next to the heart but if he had to get up…

He focused on returned to his material body and slowly started to feel his mental body dissolve. It had been a strange feeling at first but he had soon gotten used to it.

Waking up after Occluding for too long was always disorientating but waking up with three heads surrounding his bed just made the sensation even worse.

"What…"

"It's breakfast time," Dean said, "We have classes in an hour."

"Darn it!"


	7. Chapter 7

Harry walks into the Great Hall and sits at the Gryffindor table. He does a quick scan around the room and then serves himself a breakfast of eggs and bacon, eating it quickly.

The noise level in the room drastically increased and Harry looked up to see that the post had arrived. An owl carrying a copy of the Daily Prophet landed in front of him and he dropped a few coins into the pouch on it's leg before grabbing the paper and opening it. Immediately an article caught his eye.

It has now been a year since the war and this reporter is interested in how our two reporters might be coping with the loss of their best friend, the late Hermione Granger.

Harry's eyes narrow at the mention of his deceased friend but he continues to read.

We have interviewed a few of their colleagues from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to see how they are coping.

Draco Malfoy, a Slytherin in Potter's year says 'Potter is Potter. Who cares how he's coping? We all lost someone in that god-forsaken war.'

Lavender Brown, a Gryffindor in the same year says 'Harry isn't doing to well, I'd say. Ron seems okay though. We've all been trying to support them as much as possible.'

Seamus Finnegan, also a Gryffindor in Potter's year says 'I shouldn't say anything. It's private, that's what it is.'

Harry smiled briefly at Seamus' response before continuing.

With this limited amount of information, we must wonder. How are the two saviours of the Wizarding World really coping with the death of the last member of the trio.

Harry stared at the article, a tear in the corner of his eye. Ron stood up from where he had been talking to the other Gryffindor Eighth years and stood behind Harry, looking over his shoulder at the paper.

"You've read the article?"

Harry nodded mutely and Ron sighed, siting down next to him.

"She wouldn't have wanted this…" The red-head sighed as he sat down.

Harry wordlessly shook his head. "No. She wanted to be remembered… But not for this…"

Suddenly Ron's head jolted up from where it had been resting in one hand. "I just got an idea! What if we write a newspaper article for the Prophet, commemorating all the things she did both during and out of school."

Harry's eyes lit up but then his face curved into a frown. "I'm… I'm not sure I'll be able to remember all that without…" He trailed off but Ron understood what he meant. The red-head felt the same.

"I think that… If we do it together and persevere it'll be good. Might even help us."

The brunette nodded slowly in agreement. "When should we start?"

Ron shrugged. "Why not now?"

As the two of them walked towards an empty classroom, Harry's insecurities started to come into play. He was worried that rediscovering all the memories of Hermione might just make his mental state even worse.

They sat down and started planning. One idea came, then another, then another. Soon they were scribbling down all sorts of ideas and plans on one sheet of paper. They ran out of room, so they started another and another and then just one more. They could have gone on and on but if they took that route, they could have written a book, maybe 7! As it was, they were just writing a newspaper articles and so needed to condense their ideas.

They took one thing from each year, the event they deemed to be the most important and wrote a short summary for each.

The two lost track of time as they relieved all of the memories. They laughed and cried together remembrance as the time passed by. They didn't realise how late it was until Ron yawned.

Harry cast a quick tempus charm which showed that it was 2 in the morning.

"Merlin's beard! Ron, we have to go! We can come back to this later. It's past curfew."

Ron's face paled and he quickly nodded and started to shove everything in his schoolbag. Neither of them could afford to be caught out of bed after curfew again. They'd both been caught too many times to count and last time they had been issued a warning of a detention if they got caught again.

Normally they wouldn't care but they didn't want to attract anymore attention then necessary, especially from the teachers. Since they had come back, nearly all the teachers had been giving the two boys concerned looks and regularly asking if they were okay.

Harry and Ron appreciated the effort but they just wanted to forget and move on and they didn't see how that was possible when there were physical reminders around every corner.

"Ciamar a tha iad air a bhith a 'dol?" Harry was drawn out of his thoughts when a voice echoed down the corridor.

He pulled Ron into a broom cupboard nearby and they both held their breath as the voices came closer.

"Tha coltas gu bheil iad a 'fàs nas fheàrr, tha iad a' bruidhinn nas trice." Someone else said. They were nearly right outside the cupboard where the boys were hiding now.

"What language is that?" Ron whispered curiously.

Immediately the voices quieted and the two boys heard footsteps as the people walked away. The boys exchanged looks and slowly opened the door. If the people were still there, they would have been busted anyway. Ron peeked around the door and into the silent corridor. There was no one there and he said as much to Harry who sighed in relief.

"Let's go back to the common room. We can continue working on this tomorrow."

0o0o0o0o0o0o

One week later, Harry and Ron finally got the confirmation message that their article would be included in that day's Daily Prophet. They were ecstatic. When they walked to breakfast, Ron sat with Harry for the first time since the night they had split up and waited with bated breath for the morning mail delivery.

It finally came and instead of reading it, both boys surveyed the room, trying to see people's reactions. Harry's eyes eventually settled on Malfoy. The blond haired boy had his paper opened and was reading an article intently. For some reason, Harry just knew that it was theirs.

He had expected Malfoy to scoff and to turn up his nose at the article but instead the blond boy read it slowly, with an intense look in his eye. It was almost as if he was mourning… Harry shook the thought out of his head. That was ridiculous! They had barely any interaction apart from where Malfoy was bullying Hermione.

Malfoy raised his head and they held eye contact briefly. Harry's breath caught in his through as he caught sight of Malfoy clearly for perhaps the first since they both returned to school.

He had massive shadows smeared under his eyes and frown marks creased his face. His formally bright silver eyes were shadowed not unlike Harry's own. This physical examination caused Harry to reexamine his thoughts on Malfoy. Everything, including his actions of the war were reassessed and looked over with a critical eye.

Definitely in his younger years, Malfoy was a bully. There was no denying that but as he got older, something changed. He stopped handing out insults like candy and started spending more time alone.

Now, Harry wondered why. Before he had just attributed it to Malfoy's Death Eater activities. But reassessing Malfoy's actions caused him to realise just how biased he had been in the past. Everything that went wrong, he had immediately blamed on Malfoy. It wasn't right and he shouldn't  
have done it without proof. Malfoy had wronged him in the past but that didn't mean he was connected to everything that went badly.

"Mate, stop staring at Malfoy! People are going to think you're in love!" Ron said with a smirk adorning his face.

Harry stared at him, unbelieving but then rolled his eyes and turned away, engaging Dean in conversation.

Soon you'll realise… Soon you'll both realise

Ron blushed scarlet as Harry looked at him. He didn't know if his friend knew Legilimency and he currently didn't have his Occlumency barriers up so Harry could have read his mind. He shivered at the thought. He shipped Drarry, he really did, but he wanted his friend to realise it in his own time not through his own thoughtless actions.


	8. Chapter 8

Ron's eyes opened blearily as he adjusted to the bright sunlight filling the dorm. Groaning, he cast a tempus charm and was shocked to see that it was 7:30am already. It had felt like he had only just gone to sleep. He rolled over and closed his eyes, knowing that he should get up but reasoning that since no one was up, he didn't have to.

Not even five minutes later, Ron heard Seamus' voice. The others were probably be starting to wake up.

"Ron! You need to get up, we should be down at breakfast already." Seamus yelled, rushing to the shower.

He sat up drowsily, nearly falling back down as his head started spinning.

Ron blinked and found himself in the Great Hall, having breakfast.

"Ron! Are you alright? You don't look right."

He heard Lavender's voice as if she was yelling from across a field and slowly turned towards her. blinking sleepily.

"Y...Yeah. I am."

Making a noticeable effort to pull himself together, he responded in a more appropriate manner, "I'm fine. Just a little tired y'know."

Lavender eyed him suspiciously but turned to Parvati, engaging her in conversation once more.

Ron sighed heavily. He just wanted to go back to bed but then again, he didn't. He had read through a few books in the library (just going there hurt because of how much it reminded him of her) and he came across something called insomnia which was when people cannot sleep properly. It could either be that they have trouble sleeping, cannot stay asleep or wake up ridiculously early.

He didn't like to self-diagnose but Ron was pretty sure he had insomnia.

Every night he lay in bed for what seemed like hours on end, waiting for that bliss that came with sleep. That feeling of forgetfulness when you were swept away with pleasant dreams and could forget reality for a moment.

Even if you didn't have good dreams (which he didn't) it was still possible to enjoy the feeling of nothing, of that peaceful emptiness when you were just floating away with no cares in the world.

He wanted that, but he could never obtain it.

The closest he could get was by doing Occlumency but even that wasn't true sleep. It wouldn't allow him to feel refreshed when he woke up, it only gave him just enough energy to get through the day, sometimes not even that.

There were times when he fell asleep in class but even those little cat naps didn't give him some closure. He just even more tired and lethargic. It seemed like nothing helped and frankly, Ron was tired of trying.

These days, he dreaded the time when everyone went up to bed and he was expected to join them. He would make up excuses to stay up later, saying he had homework or a detention, but as Harry was in in nearly all of his classes, it was nearly impossible to find a reasonable excuse.

It wasn't that he didn't want to sleep for fear of nightmares, although that was certainly part of it, it was that he dreaded that time before he fell asleep when everything was silent. It was these times when there was nothing to distract him, to help him filter his thoughts.

Ordinarily, he would just wake up Harry, but seeing how terrible the brunette boy had looked lately, Ron hadn't wanted to wake him up and just make it worse. He worried for Harry, he really did. The be-spectacled boy looked worse every single day and Ron didn't know what he could do to make it better. Hermione was always better at those sorts of things than he was.

He felt a growing sense of horror as he went over what he had just thought. That was possibly the first time he had thought her name since the end of the war but he just felt apathy. That couldn't be right. That wasn't normal. Was it?

Hermione  
Hermione  
HERMIONE

He thought her name over and over again to see if it would trigger some sort of emotion but all he felt was despair.

OK, Ron. Calm down, think about this rationally.

He winced as the thought ran through his head. That sounded just like Hermione. Burying his head in his hands, he stifled a sob. It seemed like nothing was under his control anymore! His friendship with Harry (even though it was his choice, it has still been strained), his sleep schedule and now his emotions.

What was wrong with him! There must be something...

Lavender glanced over at him unsurely, most likely debating if she should try and help him again. It didn't matter. Nothing she did would help anyway so it would be better if she didn't interfere. It just seem fake. Everything did at the moment. Nothing seemed real and it was killing him.

His paranoia was out of sight, everybody suddenly seemed to be wearing masks. He wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't. The only time he was happy was when he was with Harry. Harry understood. Harry knew what he was going through because he was feeling the same.

The newspaper article was a huge success with people coming up to both of them and congratulating them but the high only lasted a few days. After that when people came to him, he would turn and walk the other way, not daring to talk to people anymore.

The newspaper article was a huge success with people coming up to both of them and congratulating them but the high only lasted a few days. After that when people came to him, he would turn and walk the other way, not daring to talk to people anymore. If he talked, he would inevitably just end up searching their person for masks.

Everybody had something to hide, but only now was he realising that fact.

It was rather ironic that now that he had something to hide that he was realising that so did everybody else. Take Malfoy for an example, back when they were younger, he used a mask to try and hide the fact that he liked Hermione. He bullied her to get her attention but also had another bonus of dissuading everybody that suspected that he liked her.

Everyone had a secret and it was scary to see how much they had to hide.

Ron was being exposed to another side of humanity where everything was a game of who knows what about you and how much and I get you to reveal. It was a game of secrets and blackmail, especially in the older years. Ron had made it his personal mission to protect the younger years from this side of the Wizarding World, especially the Muggle-borns, he just wasn't sure how to.

Just as he was about to start brainstorming, a sharp pain erupted in the back of his head and his eyes rolled inward. Head thumping onto the table, his friends screamed in alarm but he was already gone.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry climbed up the stairs to the top of the astronomy tower and opened the door to head onto the roof. When he steps through the door, Harry sees the last person he would expect to be standing there.

The one and only Draco Malfoy was standing, looking off the edge of the tower. To Harry, he looked strangely reminiscent.

"Malfoy." Harry greeted curtly. "What are you doing up here?"

Draco turned around and seemed to growl at him as he replied. "None of your business, Potter. Leave."

As Malfoy responds, Harry is startled by the realisation that arguing with the blond was by far the most normal thing he had done in the year since the war. It was strange but somehow felt calming. Nice even.

"I was here first!" He argued petulantly, trying to keep the nostalgic bickering alive.

Draco's mouth twisted into a ferocious scowl. "Do not interfere with things you know nothing about. Leave Potter!

While Draco is speaking, Harry does a cursory glance around the open roof and only then does he notice how close the edge Draco is standing. Harry's mouth falls open in surprise and shock. How could he not have realised earlier?

"Malfoy... What... Why..." Harry tried to ask through his shock.

Draco turned away and looked out over the Forbidden Forest, his silvery-blonde hair shimmering in the moonlight. "Like I said Potter, don't talk to me about things you don't know anything about."

Harry gaped at Draco in surprise and then a frown settled on his face as he started whisper-yelling. He knew things would only get worse if he alerted a teacher. "Do you seriously think I don't know anything about suicide? I lost my Godfather and it was my fault! And do you know what happened after? All my friends stopped fucking talking to me.

Oh no! Perfect little Harry Potter knows nothing about suicide. One of my best friends died in front of me. I could have saved her. But I didn't! Both Ron and I have considered ending our lives. But we haven't. We haven't even attempted to."

Draco looked at him through stone-cold yet vulnerable eyes. "Why?"

"Because neither of us are cowards."

Harry turned around and retreated back indoors, his mind still on the situation he had fled. As soon as the damaning words had left his lips, he had regretted even thinking them let alone saying them to Malfoy. He had been handling a seriously delicate situation and now that he had stuffed up, he was afraid that Draco would actually jump.

Wandering the corridors aimlessly with his head in the clouds, he didn't notice Professor McGonagall until she was right in front of him.

"Mister Potter! What ever are you doing wandering around the corridors at this time of night!"

"I'm sorry Professor, I lost track of the time," Harry said absently.

McGonagall's facial expression immediately shifted from scolding to worried as she noticed that someone was wrong with one of her lions. "Are you quite alright, Harry?"

Harry's head jerked up from where he had been starting at the floor. "Of course Professor. Why do you ask?" He sharply, taken off guard by the sudden question concerning his wellbeing.

"No reason. Now off to your common room Mister Potter. If I see you out again after curfew, I will have to give you a detention."

Harry nods silently in reply and starts walking back to the common room, his mind once again lingering on Draco and the guilt that was clawing at his insides. Just as McGonagall was about to continue patrolling, Harry called out to her.

"By the way Professor, you should go up to the Astronomy Tower. I hear it's quite nice around this time of the year. "

His farewell message said, the brunette continued on his way to the common room, hoping that McGonagall will heed his advice.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In the Great Hall the next day, Harry once again sat by himself at the Gryffindor table. He served himself some toast with jam and does a quick scan around the room, looking for Draco.

He can't see him.

Harry feels a cold knot of dread tighten around his gut and he crosses his fingers underneath the table, hoping with all his heart that Draco was just sleeping in after the late night that they both had.

Just as he was about to get up and leave the hall, Professor McGonagall approached him, a severe look on her face.

"Mr Potter, you know that I do not appreciate tattletales and your direction was a prime example of why. A petty example of school boy rivalry, that's what that was. I would have thought that after a war, the two of you would have known better but apparently not."

Harry winced at the mention of the war but his breath caught as soon as Draco was mentioned, barely daring to hope that the other boy was well.

At his wince, McGonagall's face softened and she sighed. "Be that as it may, both you and Mister Malfoy will be serving detention with me tomorrow night. 9 o'clock. Be on time."

Harry nods in reply but can barely contain his joy as she walks back up to the staff table. Internally laughing with pure relief, he lets a grin slide onto his face, not able to hold it back. He was so glad that the Professor followed his hint and found Malfoy. He may not particularly like the other boy, but he would never want him to die.

Ron dropped onto the bench next to him and Harry jumped, not having seen him approach.

"What's gotten you so cheery mate?" He asked, grinning himself.

Harry hesitates, not sure if he should tell Ron about Malfoy. He told Ron everything but this was different. It didn't just concern him, but also Malfoy.

His smile must have fallen as Ron clapped him on the shoulder and spoke earnestly. "Don't stop now! I haven't seen you this happy in ages man."

Harry smiled ruefully in agreement.

They both give each other a sad smile before Ron excuses himself to go back to the other Gryffindors.

A flash of platinum blonde hair caught Harry's eye and he turns towards the door and Malfoy walked into the room from breakfast. He glanced at the Gryffindor table and they established eye-contact for a few moments before Malfoy scowled and turned away.

Harry couldn't help but smile back at him, delighting in the confused look Malfoy gave him as he walked over to sit with Pansy and Theo at the Slytherin table.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Harry climbed up to the Astronomy Tower again that night, hoping against hope that Draco would be there so he could apologise. He opens the door and a slouched figure sitting on the edge caught his eye. Harry could tell by his posture that jumping wasn't on his mind today and so relaxed and moved to sit next to him.

He thought back to when Luna did the same thing to him and how much it had helped him to know that someone would be there for him no matter what and that he couldn't push them away regardless of how hard he tried. It worked wonders for him so now he would try to do the same to Draco.

They sat on the edge for a while, just enjoying the view and the serenity from being away from the hustle and bustle of the school below.

"When I was 16 years old..." Harry began, breaking the silence and the tentative truth that came with it. But strangly enough, Draco stayed silent.

Harry observed Draco as he spoke noting all the changes in the other boy's expression. He hoped that it would give him some insight into how this particular story would be recieved but he was still suprised but what came out of Draco's mouth when he finished his tale of the Half-Blood Prince and all the drama that came with it.

"I never knew that..." Draco said quietly.

Harry cocked his head, puzzled and Draco elaborated. "Your side of the story I mean. I always got it either through Severus or my father."

Harry snorts and said, "And they weren't exactly unbiased were they?"

It was silent for a moment and Harry sees movement out of the corner of his eye. Draco was fiddling with the hem of his robe. Recognising the movement as an anxious or nervous tick, he goes back the conversation wondering what could have made Draco uncomfortable.

His last statement. Oops.

"Look.. Um.. I'm sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable. It was really out of line..." Harry trails off awkwardly at the silence that still lingers in the air.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go..."

Draco still says nothing and Harry starts to walk away, walking purposely slowly, waiting for the other boy to call him back. He was about to open the door and deem it a lost cause when a soft voice caused him to stop.

"I am a coward."

"No. You're not."

With that, Harry walked down the steps.


	10. Chapter 10

Ron slowly blinked, his eyes feeling like lead. The last thing he remembered was a sharp pain in his head but nothing after that. Now his head just felt fuzzy, like he had woken up from a long sleep. For all he knew, he could have.

Slowly, he forced his eyes all the way open, feeling like someone had attached weights onto them. It was way harder than it should have been. He could make out the blurry figures of who he presumed to be his friends gathered around his bed, talking in hushed tones. He couldn't quite make out what they were saying but he had a feeling it was about him.

He groaned loudly, purposely announcing the fact he was awake to his onlookers. Their heads all swivelled to face him and he could barely make out their concerned expressions.

"Ron! What happened? You just fainted!" He was pretty sure that was Lavender with Parvati next to her. That would mean that Dean and Seamus were on his other side.

Parvati must have noticed his search as she said quietly, "Harry's not here."

Ron furrowed his brows in an unspoken question and she shrugged slightly. He sighed. She didn't know where Harry was.

Before Ron had a chance to try and answer Lavender's question, Madam Pomfrey came bustling into the room. "He's awake is he? Off you go, Mr Weasley needs his rest."

Ron's friends tried to argue but eventually left the Hospital Wing. He had to give it to the nurse, few could rival her arguing skills, honed from years of experience.

"Okay mister, now tell me, what happened? And no lying to this old nurse, I can tell." She said warningly.

"I'm not really sure…" Ron trailed off thinking. "It could be because I haven't been sleeping well…?" He trailed off, frustrated. That wasn't the cause, he was sure of it and she didn't need to know his insignificant issues like insomnia. There were most likely other students needing far more urgent help but instead she was wasting her time on him. It had just slipped out, and now he was regretting it.

He ended up explaining what had happened prior to his fainting episode and she asked him a few questions regarding his sleep schedule that he ended up answering honestly. She already knew and he didn't really want to find out if she could really tell when he was lying.

Nodding her head thoughtfully, she moved over to the medicine cabinet and began ruffling in the drawers. She held up a small bottle with a peculiar looking dark blue potion inside. "Dreamless sleep potion, take it for 3 nights and then come back and I'll give you a milder sleeping draught. This one's just to get you back on track."

Ron nodded, his eyes glued to the vial. He wanted it, no, he needed it. He was looking at it like it was a lifeline, which it almost was. He couldn't go on with his present sleep schedule. Humans need sleep, even wizards do, it was a fact of life. Not even stubborn, nightmare-plagued wizards could fight against it, even with Ron trying so hard.

He took the potion and thanked Madam Pomfrey then made his way out of the Hospital Wing. He headed straight back to the dormitory to avoid talking to any of the others.. He knew in his heart that he would have to tell them eventually but he knew he would keep fooling himself until that time came.

Slowly, he climbed into bed and swallowed a big mouthful of the potion. Almost immediately, he could feel it's effects.

0o0o0o0o0o

The next day, he headed down to breakfast before any of the others were awake. Harry's bed was empty when he left but he might not be at breakfast. He was an early riser but rarely came down to breakfast before the others. Ron wasn't sure what he did in between but that wasn't any of his business. His only goal was to avoid the others.

As he walked into the Great Hall, he did a quick scan of the table just to see if any of the girls were there. They weren't but surprisingly enough, Harry was.

Ron walked over to where Harry was sitting and sat down, serving himself some breakfast.

"Hey," Harry muttered, urgently scratching something onto a piece of parchment.

Ron leaned over to see what he was doing. It seemed like he was creating a sort of mind map. In the middle was the words 'Muggle Psychologist' and then there were lots of lines branching out.

He furrowed his brow, what was a muggle psychologist? He's heard it before, most likely from his father but he didn't actually know what it meant. Sometimes it felt like the Muggles had a whole new language, some of their words were so foreign. It was really quite strange.

Harry looked up and noticed his furrowed brow. "A psychologist is a job. They're employed to talk to people with mental health issues or that have been through something traumatic or stressful."

Ron adopted a thinking expression. "Why don't we have them here? Like with the war it would be a really good thing to implement right?"

The other boy nodded. "That's what I'm trying to do. I'm thinking that if I have enough of an outline and have covered any arguments the teachers might think of, something might actually happen."

"That's really cool. Can I help?"

Harry nodded pushed the parchment over so it sat between them.

0o0o0o0o0

At the end of the week, the two boys had done as much as they could and trekked up to Professor McGonagall's office. Stomach's knotted with anxiety, they tentatively spoke the password to the statue out the front and made their way up the revolving staircase. Knocking on the door, they heard a call for the to enter and slowly walked into the office.

"Good morning boys, what prompted this visit?" She asked, cutting straight to the chase. The boys appreciated it. Proposing this idea was nerve-racking as it was without having to sit through meaningless pleasantries.

They started by explaining their proposal and then by backing it up with descriptions of how the older years who had fought in the war were coping, that is, not at all. After they had finished explaining their initial plan, the boys stopped talking and waited for McGonagall's reaction. They had no idea how she would take it and because of this, griped their bodies as they waited for her to speak.

She leaned forwards, her hands clasped together on her desk as she pondered the idea. "I have noticed that the students who fought haven't been coping as well as I had hoped they would. The psychologist sounds like a good idea."

Ron's eyes brightened at her approval but Harry had a gut feeling. "Is there a catch?"

McGonagall grimaced but nodded. "The Board of Governors are still extremely prejudiced against anything Muggle. They believed them to be inferior and beneath us-" She paused as Harry opened his mouth to protest, "I know that's not the case, that's just what they think. I believe that they will try to prevent this from going ahead." The Professor stopped speaking for a moment and sat back in her chair. "Classes are about to start. Go and I will think over this and get back to you."

Harry and Ron opened their mouths to protest but McGonagall gave them a stern look. There was nothing more they could do but leave it with the Professor.


	11. Chapter 11

Every since the incident on top of the Astronomy Tower, Harry had been trying to find Draco. But when he never showed up to meals at the same time as Harry and they never had any classes together, it was easier said than done. In fact, it was virtually impossible unless Harry sought him out deliberately but Harry refused let go of his pride enough to do that.

Wandering down a corridor, deep in thought, Harry vaguely heard the sound of smashing glass. That was the only warning he had before a medium-sized, silvery-grey wolf leapt over his head and landed only a few meters away. The beast turned to him growling and Harry fumbled for his wand while observing the wolf. He recognised the uncontrolled feral glint in it's eye and gasped out loud.

This wasn't just any wolf, this was a werewolf.

It lunged for him and Harry quickly scooted out of the way. Finally finding his wand, he shakily pointed it at the werewolf. He wasn't sure who the werewolf was and he didn't want to injure it if it was someone he knew.

"Arresto Momentum!" Harry muttered, sending the spell flying at the werewolf. He wasn't sure if werewolf hair was spell resistant but it was worth a shot. The spell hit the werewolf and it froze. Harry briefly grinned in triumph but quickly got to work sending the werewolf to sleep.

He then levitated it to the Room of Requirement, casting a disillusion charm on both of them so they wouldn't be seen. Once he arrived, he set about restraining the wolf, just in case the werewolf woke up while he was sleeping. Harry closed his eyes thankfully on the bed the room had so helpfully provided. He would wait until the morning to find out who the wolf was. The way it had gotten into the castle so easily made it seem to Harry like the teachers didn't know about it.

He sighed and turned over, resolving to think over the matter later when he had found out who the werewolf was.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

When he opened his eyes blearily the next morning, he sat up in a panic, not knowing where he was. His heart pounding in his chest, he slowly lay back down as he recognised where he was. The memories from the previous day came flooding back to him and he quickly scanned the room, searching for the werewolf. It would have now transformed and Harry's curiosity was overpowering his paranoia. He wanted to know who it was!

Hermione's voice wafted into his head, "You have a saving people thing, Harry." She had said way back in their fourth year when he was preparing to go rescue Sirius. He smiled wistfully. Many times over the last year he had wished that he had fully appreciated her when she was still alive but he hadn't and how he had to live with that.

His eyes spotted another person in the room, curled into a ball. They were wearing a ripped Hogwarts school uniform so they definitely were a student, but he couldn't see their face. Edging closer, he slowly moved around the prone figure, trying to discern who it was.

He gasped as he spotted a shock of platinum blonde hair. Draco Malfoy was a werewolf. Draco Malfoy was a werewolf!

Malfoy stirred suddenly and Harry quickly scampered away, knowing Malfoy wouldn't like it if he, Harry found out that Malfoy was a werewolf. Harry didn't want to break the tentative truce they had developed since the night on the Astronomy Tower, even if it was mostly Draco ignoring Harry, it was still an improvement.

Even so, his heart was reaching out to Malfoy. He looked so vulnerable in that position, curled up in a ball and his arms protecting his head. He smiled a little at the sight. Even though the situation they found themselves in was less than ideal, it was somewhat good to know that although Malfoy acted all high and mighty, the night on the Astronomy Tower wasn't a fluke. He was human (well sort of) and just as vulnerable as the rest of them.

Malfoy's silvery-grey eyes fluttered opened and he groaned in sounded like pain. Harry mentally face-palmed and instantly a first-aid kit appeared on the floor next next to him. He grabbed it and headed back over to Malfoy and knelt down next to him.

Malfoy's eyes zeroed in on Harry and then widened drastically as he realised who was with him. He jolted into a sitting position but then gasped and grabbed his ribs in agonising pain.

Recognising that Malfoy wouldn't want his help, Harry slowly slid the first aid kit over the where Malfoy was sitting, keeping his distance. he gave Harry a cert nod in thanks as he gingerly grabbed a bandage and started wrapping it around his rib cage.

Once he was done, Malfoy looked back up at Harry who was still crouched a few meters away and his eyes flashed in what seemed like hurt. Harry's eyes narrowed as he wondered what he had done. He didn't think he had...

Harry was dragged out of his thoughts by Malfoy's voice, "You saw."

Harry nodded.

"So even the Saviour of the Wizarding World is scared of a werewolf. Typical." Draco snorted at the last word but even that didn't disguise the sheen of hurt in his eyes.

Eyes widening, Harry finally realised what had upset Malfoy. He was still sitting a few meters away, further than he would normally sit, especially since he was trying to comfort Malfoy. Harry could see how the other boy came to the conclusion that he was afraid of him.

"Malfoy! I'm not afraid of you. I was there when Professor Lupin transformed remember? I think it would be kind of silly if I was afraid after that."

Malfoy frowned deeply and, not for the first time, Harry wished he knew what was going on in the other boy's head. It seemed like Malfoy was trying to figure out if he was lying but Harry could never tell. He supposed it could have been part of his Pureblood training.

"I'm not lying Draco. I'm not scared of you."

Malfoy's head jerked up and he locked eyes with him. "You... You just said my name. My first name."

"I needed to get you to believe me." Harry responded awkwardly, not sure if Malfoy was offended or just shocked.

"it doesn't matter. I'm going to leave. Don't tell anyone." Malfoy said as he turned to the exit but he turned back just as he was about to grab the door handle. "Thanks Harry."


End file.
